‫- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
‫YOU APPLIED TO COLLEGE?
‫WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
‫- I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE.
‫- WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM. ‫- TOTALLY.
‫- I'M GLAD WE'RE HANGING OUT ‫BECAUSE I LIKE YOU, JENNA.
‫- GABBY'S A REALLY COOL GIRL. ‫- YEAH, SHE IS.
‫SO ARE YOU.
‫- SENIOR YEAR ‫WAS TWO-THIRDS OVER,
‫AND I STILL HADN'T BEEN ‫ACCEPTED TO COLLEGE.
‫THANKFULLY, SPRING BREAK ‫WAS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER,
‫SO I'D HAVE PLENTY ‫OF QUALITY TIME
‫TO WALLOW IN SELF-PITY.
‫- GREAT NEWS!
‫ALLY RENTED A BEACH HOUSE
‫IN ROSARITO, MEXICO, ‫FOR SPRING BREAK,
‫AND THE WHOLE FAMILY ‫IS INVITED.
‫WE ARE GOING SPRING BREAKING!
‫- SPRING BREAK WITH SADIE: ‫PASS.
‫- WELL, YOU CAN BRING TAMARA.
‫ALLY SAID THE HOUSE IS HUGE,
‫AND SADIE'S INVITED ‫LOTS OF FRIENDS
‫TO CELEBRATE ‫HER ACCEPTANCE TO COLUMBIA.
‫AND I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE ‫A TEQUILA SHOT FOR BREAKFAST.
‫- THAT'S GREAT, MOM.
‫YOU AND SADIE HAVE ‫A LOT TO CELEBRATE,
‫WHAT, WITH YOU BOTH GOING ‫TO COLLEGE IN THE FALL.
‫- YEAH, CAN YOU JUST KEEP ‫THAT STUFF BETWEEN US FOR NOW?
‫- YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD HIM?
‫- I'M WAITING ‫FOR THE RIGHT TIME.
‫- TIME FOR WHAT?
‫- SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM ‫GOT INTO LOCKARD COLLEGE.
‫- OH, THANK GOD. ‫I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING,
‫BUT IF YOU WEREN'T ACCEPTED ‫ANYWHERE BY SPRING BREAK,
‫I WAS REALLY GOING ‫TO START TO WORRY.
‫- OH.
‫NOT ME.
‫- SURPRISE!
‫- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
‫- WHEN I WAS VISITING CAMPUSES ‫WITH JENNA THIS FALL,
‫I STARTED THINKING,
‫"IS IT REALLY TOO LATE FOR ME?"
‫- YES. ‫- WHAT?
‫YOU APPLIED TO COLLEGE ‫WITHOUT TELLING ME?
‫- BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T GET IN, ‫THERE WOULD BE NOTHING TO TELL.
‫BUT...I GOT IN.
‫- SO YOU'RE GONNA COMMUTE ‫OR PLEDGE A SORORITY, OR WHAT?
‫AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD ‫FOR ALL OF THAT?
‫- YEAH, MOM, ‫IF YOU WANT TO PARTY,
‫WHY DON'T YOU JUST ‫JOIN THE COUNTRY CLUB
‫LIKE ALL THE OTHER NORMAL MOMS?
‫- I DO NOT WANT TO PARTY.
‫I WANT A CAREER.
‫I THINK I MIGHT ‫BECOME A FIXER.
‫- A FIXER?
‫THAT'S A CAREER?
‫- YES, YOU CALL A FIXER
‫WHEN YOU'RE IN REAL DEEP.
‫AND THEY MAKE ALL KINDS ‫OF SECRET PHONE CALLS
‫TO THE POLICE AND PRESS-- ‫WHOEVER.
‫- MOM, THAT'S NOT A CAREER, ‫THAT'S A TV SHOW.
‫- LACE, YOU DON'T REALLY ‫HAVE TO GO.
‫I MEAN, IT'S ENOUGH ‫THAT YOU GOT IN.
‫I AM PROUD OF YOU.
‫- OH, NO.
‫I'M GOING.
‫I JUST NEED TO DO ‫A LITTLE MORE RESEARCH.
‫I CALL THE TV TONIGHT.
‫- LOOK AT HER,
‫HOLDING COURT LIKE SOME ‫NEWLY ENGAGED KARDASHIAN.
‫CONGRATS, SADIE.
‫- YEAH, CONGRATS.
‫- RIGHT BACK AT YOU,
‫IF YOU EVER GET ACCEPTED ‫TO ANYWHERE, HAMILTON.
‫- I HAD TRIED TO PUT ‫MY GUILTY CONSCIENCE
‫ABOUT MY DRUNKEN HOOKUP ‫WITH MATTY TO BED,
‫BUT I SENSED A WAKE-UP CALL ‫WAS ON ITS WAY.
‫- VERY COOL, SADIE.
‫LOTS TO CELEBRATE ‫ON SPRING BREAK IN ROSARITO.
‫THANKS AGAIN FOR INCLUDING ME.
‫- OF COURSE.
‫IGNORE ANYTHING ‫MY SLAGGY AUNT ALLY SAYS.
‫SHE THINKS SHE'S ‫USING ALL MY FRIENDS
‫TO MULE MEXICAN PHARMACEUTICALS ‫ACROSS THE BORDER.
‫- HEY, THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL ‫YOUR HELP WITH MATTY'S PARTY.
‫BY THE WAY, YOU LEFT ‫YOUR TEQUILA AT HIS HOUSE.
‫- OH, NO, I GOT IT.
‫- YOU DID? ‫WHEN?
‫IT WAS DEFINITELY STILL THERE ‫AFTER YOU LEFT.
‫- I DROPPED IT OFF TO HER.
‫I TOOK IT TO HER ON...
‫- SATURDAY. ‫- SUNDAY.
‫SOMETIME OVER THE WEEKEND. ‫- YEAH.
‫- OH, WELL, THANKS AGAIN ‫FOR BRINGING IT.
‫I DEFINITELY OWE YOU ONE.
‫- OH, HEY, GABBY.
‫TEAM MEETING BEFORE CLASS.
‫- GOT TO RUN, SEE YA.
‫- OKAY, BYE.
‫- BYE.
‫- I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON.
‫- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
‫- WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
‫YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON TOO.
‫I FEEL TERRIBLE LYING TO HER.
‫MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST ‫TELL HER ABOUT THE HOOKUP.
‫- WHAT? ‫NO.
‫WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?
‫- ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED
‫IS THAT SECRETS ALWAYS ‫HAVE A WAY OF COMING OUT.
‫THE IMPORTANT THING ‫IS THAT WE STOPPED
‫BEFORE IT WENT TOO FAR.
‫- EXACTLY.
‫IT WAS JUST A KISS, ‫NOT A BIG DEAL.
‫- BOYS, WAIT UP.
‫I NEED SOMETHING.
‫- AW, PRINCESS, ‫KEEP UP THE SWEET TALK.
‫- YOUR WISH IS YOUR DEMAND.
‫- LISTEN, ‫I CAN'T AFFORD COLUMBIA,
‫AND I'M NOT GOING INTO DEBT ‫FOR THE NEXT 40 YEARS.
‫- IS THAT A WHIFF ‫OF DESPERATION I SMELL?
‫- MMM, DESPERATION ‫MIXED WITH BITCHERY
‫IS SUCH AN INTOXICATING ‫COCKTAIL.
‫- GOOD, SO DRINK IT UP.
‫I'M A FINALIST FOR ‫THE ELSA HAX SCHOLARSHIP,
‫WHICH WILL GIVE ME ‫A FREE RIDE AT COLUMBIA.
‫THEY WANT A ONE-MINUTE VIDEO ‫SHOWING WHO I REALLY AM,
‫SO I NEED YOUR EXPERT SKILLS
‫TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE THE KIND ‫OF SAD, SIMPERING SYCOPHANT
‫THEY LOVE TO THROW MONEY AT.
‫- THAT REALLY WILL ‫REQUIRE EXPERTISE.
‫- AND POSSIBLY CGI.
‫- GREAT, ‫I'LL SEND YOU THE DEETS.
‫JAKE, I'M SHOOTING ‫MY SCHOLARSHIP VIDEO
‫WITH THEO AND COLE LATER,
‫AND I WANT YOU THERE TOO. ‫- SURE.
‫I LEARNED A LOT ‫ABOUT PRODUCTION
‫MAKING MY MUSIC VIDEOS.
‫- OH, NO, I DON'T NEED YOU ‫FOR ANY OF THAT.
‫PLEASE, THOSE MUSIC VIDEOS ‫WERE PATHETIC.
‫I NEED AN IMAGE CONSULTANT.
‫I WANT TO COME OFF ‫AS SWEET AND SINCERE,
‫AND YOU'RE LIKE ‫VANILLA ICE CREAM:
‫BORING, BUT EVERYONE LIKES IT,
‫'CAUSE IT'S BLAND, BENIGN, ‫MILQUETOAST--
‫- I GET IT.
‫- SO WILL YOU HELP ME?
‫PRETTY PLEASE?
‫[knocking]
‫[Hellogoodbye's Die Young, Die ‫Dumb; Not Soon playing]
‫- HI.
‫- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
‫YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
‫- YEAH, I TRIED CALLING ‫MY BIOLOGICAL DAD.
‫HIS NUMBER WAS OLD.
‫I GUESS THAT'S NO SURPRISE.
‫LIKE HE'D HAVE THE SAME NUMBER ‫FOR 18 YEARS.
‫- WELL, MAYBE THERE'S SOMEPLACE ‫YOU CAN GET UPDATED INFO.
‫HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING ONLINE?
‫- NO, THERE'S GOTTA BE ‫A MILLION DANIEL DURANDS.
‫- A MILLION OR...
‫136.
‫- JENNA?
‫OH, HEY, MATTY, I DIDN'T KNOW ‫YOU WERE HERE.
‫YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S NAME ‫IS GABBY, RIGHT?
‫- JEEZ, MOM, ‫WHAT ARE YOU, TMZ?
‫- WELL, SHE'S AT THE FRONT DOOR.
‫- HEY.
‫I WANTED TO REPLACE THIS
‫SINCE MATTY ‫TOTALED YOUR OTHER ONE.
‫- THAT IS SO SWEET.
‫YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
‫SHE REALLY DIDN'T,
‫BECAUSE I FELT GUILTY ENOUGH.
‫- I HAVE TO SAY,
‫I HAD DOUBTS ‫ABOUT THIS SPRING BREAK TRIP.
‫I KNOW SADIE AND MATTY ‫GO WAY BACK,
‫BUT SHE KIND OF SCARES ME.
‫WE WENT TO PRE-SCHOOL TOGETHER,
‫AND MY MAIN MEMORY OF HER
‫WAS OF BURNING INSECTS ‫WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS.
‫- OH, SHE CAN STILL ‫DO THAT TRICK...
‫WITH HER EYES. ‫- [laughs]
‫WELL, THAT'S WHY I WAS SO GLAD ‫TO HEAR
‫YOU'RE GOING ‫ON THE TRIP TOO.
‫IT'LL BE NICE ‫TO HAVE A REAL FRIEND THERE.
‫- THAT'S ME.
‫YOUR REAL HORRIBLE FRIEND.
‫- YOU GOT TO GO.
‫- WHY? ‫IS SHE COMING?
‫- NO, SHE LEFT, ‫BUT YOU GOT TO GO.
‫- RELAX, SHE DOESN'T ‫KNOW I'M HERE.
‫WE STILL HAVE TIME ‫TO SEARCH A LITTLE BIT MORE.
‫- I CAN'T DO THIS.
‫I CAN'T STAND SNEAKING AROUND.
‫MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS ‫WITH GABBY INSTEAD OF ME.
‫- JEEZ, RELAX. ‫WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE
‫SUCH A BIG DEAL ‫OUT OF EVERYTHING?
‫- IF THIS COMES OUT ‫THE WRONG WAY
‫OR OVER SPRING BREAK,
‫IT WILL BE A BIG DEAL.
‫PROMISE ME YOU'LL TALK TO HER.
‫- OKAY, YEAH, WHATEVER.
‫- "I ENDED UP ‫LIVING WITH MY AUNT,
‫WHO IS BATTLING A CHRONIC ‫AND DEBILITATING ILLNESS"?
‫WHAT'S WRONG WITH ALLY?
‫SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S DYING.
‫- HER LIVER IS.
‫SHE'S A DRUNKEN SLUT.
‫- YOU SHOULD JUST SAY THAT.
‫SPEAK YOUR TRUTH.
‫- NO, SHE'S TRYING ‫TO WIN THIS THING.
‫- IF THIS WERE ABOUT BEING REAL,
‫I'D TELL THESE ‫SCHOLARSHIP PEOPLE
‫HOW [bleep] LUCKY ‫THEY'D BE TO GET ME.
‫BUT THE ELSA HAX ‫SCHOLARSHIP COMMITTEE
‫WANTS AN AMBASSADOR ‫OF SUCKINESS,
‫SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO ACT IT.
‫- AH, THE BASIC ‫BAIT-AND-BITCH SWITCH.
‫- EXACTLY.
‫SO ARE WE READY?
‫LET'S GET THIS [bleep] ROLLING.
‫- ACTION.
‫- AFTER MY OWN ‫FINANCIAL REVERSAL
‫I CAME TO SEE ‫PALOS HILLS HIGH SCHOOL
‫AS A GILDED CAGE ‫OF COMPLACENCY AND ENTITLEMENT.
‫UNEXPECTEDLY, IT WAS WORKING ‫ON THE FOOD TRUCK THAT--
‫- TRY NOT TO SAY "FOOD TRUCK" ‫LIKE YOU'RE CONSTIPATED.
‫- HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED ‫TO SAY A WORD
‫THAT MAKES ME THINK ‫OF VILE, STANKY SAUSAGE?
‫UNEXPECTEDLY, ‫IT WAS WORKING WITH PEOPLE
‫FROM DIFFERENT ‫SOCIO-ECONOMIC BACKGROUNDS
‫THAT MADE ME FEEL ‫CONNECTED TO EVERYONE,
‫NOT JUST THOSE LUCKY ENOUGH ‫TO BE BORN AFFLUENT.
‫THIS DUAL IMPERATIVE ‫OF SOCIAL JUSTICE AND HUMILITY
‫IS WHAT I HOPE ‫WILL BOTH BUTTRESS AND INFORM
‫MY STUDIES AT COLUMBIA.
‫DID WE GET IT?
‫BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO SMILE ‫FOR ONE MORE MINUTE,
‫I AM GOING TO PUKE.
‫- YEAH, I THINK SO.
‫- HOW LONG WILL THIS TAKE ‫TO CUT TOGETHER?
‫- IT'LL REQUIRE PAINSTAKING WORK
‫TO KNIT TOGETHER 60 SECONDS ‫WIPED OF ALL BITCHERY AND SHADE.
‫- GREAT, I WON'T BE NEEDING ‫YOUR SERVICES ANY LONGER.
‫- COME BACK, SADIE. ‫- OH, NO, MY DREAMS ARE RUINED.
‫- I WANT YOU TO EDIT IT.
‫- ME? ‫WHAT--WHY?
‫- BECAUSE I GOT WHAT I NEEDED ‫FROM THOSE TWISTED TWINKS,
‫AND NOW I NEED A NICE GUY ‫TO DO AS HE'S TOLD.
‫SO DON'T [bleep] IT UP, OKAY?
‫OH...
‫AND THANK YOU SO MUCH, JAKE.
‫- I HAD SURVIVED ‫LAST NIGHT'S CLOSE ENCOUNTER
‫AND WAS DETERMINED ‫TO BE A BETTER FRIEND TO GABBY
‫BY LIMITING FUTURE ‫ENCOUNTERS WITH MATTY.
‫- JEN.
‫MATTY TOLD ME WHAT WENT DOWN ‫AFTER HIS PARTY,
‫AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
‫DON'T WORRY.
‫WE NEVER EVEN HAVE ‫TO SPEAK ABOUT IT.
‫- OH, THANK GOD.
‫I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
‫I MEAN, WE DIDN'T MEAN ‫FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN.
‫WE WERE JUST BOTH ‫REALLY DRUNK AND SAD, AND--
‫- HEY.
‫- DID YOU HOOK UP WITH JENNA?
‫- I THOUGHT YOU TOLD HER. ‫SHE SAID--
‫- HE TOLD ME YOU'VE BEEN ‫TALKING A LOT
‫BECAUSE YOU'RE UPSET ‫YOUR MOM GOT INTO COLLEGE.
‫- THAT IS TRUE, TOO.
‫- I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
‫YOU TWO HAVE FUN ‫ON SPRING BREAK TOGETHER.
‫- NO, GABBY, WAIT, IT'S--
‫THANKS, JENNA.
‫GABBY.
‫- LET'S EAT INSIDE TODAY.
‫THERE'S TOO MUCH TRASH OUT HERE.
‫- WHAT'S WITH ‫INTIMIDATION NATION?
‫I THOUGHT YOU WERE TIGHT ‫WITH "GAB" AND HER CREW.
‫- THINGS HAVE CHANGED.
‫- OH, MY GOD, ‫WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?
‫- WHY DO YOU JUST ASSUME ‫IT'S MY FAULT?
‫- BECAUSE I'VE KNOWN YOU ‫MY WHOLE LIFE.
‫- MATTY AND I SORT OF HOOKED UP,
‫BRIEFLY AND BARELY, ‫AFTER HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY.
‫- HOW COULD YOU BE ‫SO DEJA-STUPID?
‫WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LEARN?
‫OLD BOYFRIENDS ARE LIKE CHIPS: ‫NO DOUBLE-DIPPING.
‫- IT'S NOT LIKE THAT. ‫IT WAS A REALLY INTENSE NIGHT.
‫I'D JUST FOUND OUT ‫THAT MY MOM GOT INTO LOCKARD,
‫AND MATTY...
‫- REALLY? ‫MORE SECRETS?
‫IT'S NOT MY SECRET, ‫IT'S MATTY'S.
‫- OKAY, I KNOW I CAN'T ‫KEEP A SECRET,
‫BUT YOU STILL--LATER.
‫- I DECIDED TO FINISH MY LUNCH ‫IN A FAMILIAR PLACE
‫WITHOUT THE JUDGMENTAL STARES.
‫UNFORTUNATELY, JUDGMENT WAS ‫HARD TO OUTRUN IN HIGH SCHOOL.
‫HONESTY HAD PROVED ‫A DANGEROUS POLICY,
‫AND I WAS SUFFERING ‫THE CONSEQUENCES
‫FROM GABBY AND HER CREW.
‫LUCKILY, I HAD A GUIDANCE ‫COUNSELOR AVAILABLE 24/7.
‫[laughter]
‫- [muffled] ‫SPRING BREAK, WOOT-WOOT!
‫DID YOU HEAR?
‫WILL AND I ARE GOING TO BE ‫MEETING YOU IN MEXICO.
‫- YEAH, I'M TEACHING VAL ‫HOW TO SCUBA DIVE.
‫I CAN'T BELIEVE ‫SHE'S NEVER GONE DOWN
‫AND EXPLORED ALL THE LIFE ‫JUST TEEMING IN THE OCEAN.
‫- WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY?
‫I NEVER WANTED TO GO DOWN ‫UNTIL I MET YOU.
‫HUH?
‫- SHOULD I GIVE YOU GUYS ‫SOME PRIVATE TIME?
‫- YEAH, THANKS.
‫- I HEARD ABOUT YOUR HOOKUP.
‫I GET IT.
‫THAT INTIMIDATION NATION GROUP ‫SCARES ME TOO.
‫IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.
‫THE ONLY WAY YOU FELT ‫YOU COULD COMPETE
‫WAS BY SLUTTING IT UP.
‫- IT WASN'T ABOUT THAT. ‫I WAS SAD.
‫I JUST FOUND OUT ‫MY MOM GOT INTO COLLEGE.
‫- WELL, BRAVO.
‫SHE'S CHALLENGING HERSELF,
‫EXPLORING UNCHARTED WATERS.
‫- YEAH, I UNDERSTAND ‫LACEY'S NEED TO GROW.
‫WILL IS PUSHING ME TO BREAK FREE ‫FROM MY NORMAL ROUTINE.
‫SPEAKING OF, ‫I NEED TO BE AU COURANT
‫ON ALL THINGS SEXUAL ‫FOR SPRING BREAK.
‫IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE ‫TO FIT TWO WHOLE--
‫- OKAY, NOT ENGAGING.
‫- OKAY, GOOD TALK.
‫DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
‫IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO,
‫OR SOMETIMES THREE.
‫IT'S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT.
‫- IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
‫THANKS TO YOU, MATTY ISN'T ‫GOING ON SPRING BREAK.
‫- WHAT? ‫I THOUGHT IT WAS
‫JUST GABBY ‫WHO WASN'T GOING.
‫- MATTY IS ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE
‫I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ‫IN THIS SCHOOL.
‫AND NOW HE'S NOT GOING ‫BECAUSE OF YOU
‫AND YOUR OVEREAGER, ‫RASTY LITTLE BEAVER.
‫- NEXT UP, A VIDEO ESSAY ‫SUBMITTED TO US
‫THIS VERY MORNING ‫BY SADIE SAXTON,
‫WHO'S A FINALIST ‫FOR THE ELSA HAX SCHOLARSHIP,
‫WHICH SHE HOPES WILL PAY HER WAY ‫TO COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY.
‫TAKE NOTE, ALL YOU JUNIORS. ‫THIS IS THE KIND OF SUCKING UP
‫THAT GETS YOU A FREE RIDE ‫TO THE IVY LEAGUE.
‫- MY NAME IS SADIE SAXTON,
‫AND I'M A SENIOR HERE ‫AT PALOS HILLS--[bleep].
‫CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?
‫I SAID "PALOS" LIKE A CHOLO.
‫[laughter]
‫I'VE EMBRACED MY EXPERIENCES
‫BEYOND THE GILDED [bleep]-- ‫CAGES.
‫[bleep], I HAVE TO ‫DO THAT AGAIN.
‫[laughter]
‫CAN YOU STOP WHISPERING?
‫STOP WHISPERING, ‫MARY-KATE AND TRASHLEY.
‫SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
‫SHUT THE [bleep] UP ‫OR GET OUT.
‫[laughter]
‫IF YOU ASK FOR ONE MORE TAKE,
‫I WILL SMASH THIS CAMERA ‫INTO YOUR BRAIN.
‫[laughter] ‫GIVE THAT BACK TO ME--[grunts]!
‫[bleep] [bleep] ‫GET IT TOGETHER, [bleep].
‫SHUT THE [bleep] UP! ‫[laughter]
‫I AM GOING TO FLAY ‫AND MURDER YOU...
‫VERY SLOWLY.
‫- THAT SOUNDS HOT.
‫BUT, SADLY, CAN'T TAKE CREDIT.
‫JAKE IS YOUR MAN.
‫SOMEONE SPIKED THAT VANILLA ‫SHAKE WITH A LITTLE RUM.
‫- ROSATI!
‫WHAT THE HELL, ROSATI?
‫THAT IS NOT THE VIDEO ‫YOU SHOWED ME.
‫THAT BETTER NOT BE THE VIDEO ‫THAT WENT TO COLUMBIA.
‫- AW, YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
‫I THOUGHT THE POINT ‫WAS TO CAPTURE THE REAL YOU.
‫- THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ASS.
‫- HOW ABOUT INSTEAD ‫OF THE WORD "ASS,"
‫YOU SUBSTITUTE ‫"ONE OF MY OLDEST FRIENDS,
‫WHO'S ALWAYS HAD MY BACK."
‫- YOU DIDN'T SEND IT.
‫I KNEW YOU IT. ‫YOU ARE TOO--
‫- NICE?
‫HERE'S THE THING. ‫WE'RE ALL USED TO YOU.
‫YOU EXHALE SO MUCH SNARK ‫ON A DAILY BASIS,
‫YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ‫WHAT'S KILLING THE BEES.
‫- I'M GETTING BORED.
‫- AT COLUMBIA, ‫NO ONE KNOWS YOU YET.
‫YOU GET A CLEAN SLATE.
‫- OH, I GET IT.
‫YOU'RE TRYING ‫TO TEACH ME A LESSON.
‫PRECIOUS.
‫REALLY, I'M TOUCHED.
‫LET ME THINK ABOUT THIS,
‫'CAUSE MAYBE IT'LL CONVINCE ME ‫TO CHANGE MY WAYS
‫AND GO OFF TO COLLEGE ‫AS A SUPER NICE GIRL.
‫- NO, YOU'LL NEVER BE THAT, ‫SADIE.
‫BUT MAYBE YOU'RE NOT ‫AS BIG A BITCH
‫AS YOU WANT EVERYONE ‫TO THINK YOU ARE.
‫- NO, I TOTALLY AM.
‫- MATTY, WAIT.
‫LOOK, WE MADE A MISTAKE.
‫- YEAH, I KNOW, ‫WE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER.
‫THINGS HAVE A WAY OF COMING OUT.
‫- YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE ‫WITH HER, MATTY.
‫- YEAH, I'M TRYING.
‫IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
‫- WELL, YOU'RE ABLE TO WITH ME,
‫IN YOUR OWN SORT OF WAY.
‫- YEAH, WELL, ‫IT'S EASIER WITH YOU.
‫- WELL, I'M NOT THE ONE
‫YOU'RE TRYING TO HAVE ‫A RELATIONSHIP WITH.
‫LOOK, WE HAVE A HABIT ‫OF FALLING INTO OLD PATTERNS,
‫AND IT KEEPS SCREWING US UP. ‫- YEAH, I KNOW.
‫- AND NOW ‫THE SPRING BREAK THING.
‫- WELL, I'M NOT GOING, ‫SO IT WON'T BE A PROBLEM.
‫- BUT YOU SHOULD GO. ‫WE SHOULD BOTH BE ABLE TO GO.
‫IT'S OUR LAST SPRING BREAK.
‫- IT WOULD END MY RELATIONSHIP ‫WITH GABBY.
‫- BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T ‫TOLD HER THE TRUTH.
‫WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL HER ‫ABOUT THE LETTER
‫AND THAT YOU'RE TRYING ‫TO FIND YOUR REAL DAD?
‫- HEY, I TOLD YOU ‫I'M NOT READY, OKAY?
‫- TO SHARE SOMETHING ‫WITH A GIRL
‫YOU'RE WILLING ‫TO MISS SPRING BREAK OVER,
‫OR TO FIND YOUR REAL DAD?
‫- BOTH.
‫- MATTY, IF YOU WEREN'T READY, ‫WHY DID YOU COME TO ME?
‫- I HAVE NO CLUE.
‫I WISH I HADN'T.
‫[mellow rock music]
‫*
‫- MATTY WAS IMPOSSIBLE ‫TO DECIPHER,
‫SO WHY DID I KEEP ‫TRYING TO HELP HIM?
‫SHOULDN'T HE HAVE BEEN GOING ‫TO HIS GIRLFRIEND FOR THAT?
‫OH, RIGHT, HE WASN'T READY ‫TO COMMUNICATE WITH HER YET.
‫HE HAD ME FOR THAT.
‫- HEY, LET'S GO BIKINI SHOPPING ‫FOR SPRING BREAK.
‫- I DON'T EVEN WANT ‫TO GO ON SPRING BREAK ANYMORE.
‫- IS THIS ABOUT ME ‫GOING TO COLLEGE?
‫- NO, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
‫NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU.
‫- HEY, I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE.
‫WHETHER I GO TO COLLEGE OR NOT, ‫I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER.
‫- OH, I'M SORRY ‫IF I GET CONFUSED
‫ON WHEN TO TREAT YOU ‫LIKE A MOTHER.
‫THE WAY I SEE IT,
‫I'M THE ADULT ‫AND YOU'RE THE WILD CHILD.
‫HAVING TEQUILA SHOTS ‫FOR BREAKFAST?
‫- I HAD ONE SHOT...
‫AND AN ORANGE JUICE CHASER.
‫- IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ‫COMPETING WITH ME.
‫I MEAN, YOU HAVE ‫A BETTER BODY THAN ME.
‫YOU'RE MORE FUN AT PARTIES ‫THAN ME.
‫YOU DRESS BETTER.
‫- I JUST OFFERED ‫TO TAKE YOU SHOPPING.
‫- DO YOU KNOW ‫HOW HUMILIATING IT IS
‫THAT YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE ‫AND I DIDN'T.
‫CONGRATULATIONS, MOM.
‫YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME ‫AT EVERYTHING!
‫- HEY.
‫WHAT'S GOING ON?
‫- IT'S OKAY, KEVIN.
‫JENNA'S RIGHT.
‫I AM TOO OLD FOR COLLEGE.
‫IT IS TOO LATE ‫FOR ME TO START OVER.
‫- MOM, WAIT.
‫I DON'T WANT HER TO NOT GO ‫BECAUSE OF ME.
‫- SHE'S GOING.
‫I ALREADY MAILED ‫HER TUITION CHECK.
‫- WELL, CANCEL IT. ‫SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO.
‫- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
‫BUT LOOK AT ALL THAT SHE DID.
‫TOOK THE S.A.T.s,
‫FILLED OUT APPLICATIONS, ‫WRITE ESSAYS,
‫ALL KNOWING THAT SHE ‫COULD BE REJECTED.
‫- TRUST ME, I KNOW ‫ALL ABOUT REJECTION.
‫I GOT TWO.
‫- JENNA, YOU WILL ‫GET INTO COLLEGE,
‫AND INTO THE RIGHT PLACE ‫FOR YOU.
‫- HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE?
‫- BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU,
‫LIKE I BELIEVE IN YOUR MOM.
‫AND I KNOW HER ‫BETTER THAN ANYONE.
‫SHE WANTS THIS.
‫SHE'S JUST SCARED.
‫SHE NEEDS ME TO GIVE HER ‫A LITTLE PUSH
‫TO GET OVER THE HUMP.
‫THAT'S WHAT YOU DO ‫FOR THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.
‫- MY FATHER'S UNSCRAMBLING ‫OF MY MOTHER'S MIXED SIGNALS
‫GOT ME THINKING ABOUT MATTY.
‫CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? ‫- HMM?
‫- WHY IS IT SO HARD ‫TO BE FRIENDS WITH EXES?
‫- I DON'T KNOW.
‫I GUESS IT'S CONFUSING FOR GUYS.
‫OUR HEADS ARE WIRED ONE WAY,
‫AND OUR HEARTS ‫ARE WIRED ANOTHER,
‫AND OUR--
‫WE SHUT DOWN.
‫AND WE DON'T COMMUNICATE ‫WHAT WE REALLY WANT.
‫NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
‫I'VE GOT TO GO TELL YOUR MOTHER ‫THAT SHE'S GOING TO COLLEGE
‫OR SHE'S GROUNDED.
‫- SUDDENLY, ‫IT MADE PERFECT SENSE
‫WHY MATTY HAD TURNED ‫TO ME FOR HELP
‫FINDING HIS BIO DAD ‫INSTEAD OF GABBY.
‫HE WAS SCARED ‫AND NEEDED A LITTLE PUSH
‫FROM THE PERSON WHO KNEW HIM ‫BETTER THAN ANYONE.
‫THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE FIXER ‫IN THIS FAMILY.
‫- YOUR MOM LET ME IN.
‫I FOUND YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER.
‫- OKAY.
‫- TURNS OUT THAT ‫EIGHT OF THE DANIELS
‫WERE ACTUALLY DANIELLES.
‫SO THEN I NARROWED IT DOWN ‫BY RACE AND AGE,
‫TOOK A GAMBLE THAT HE STILL ‫LIVED ON THE WEST COAST
‫AND WASN'T INCARCERATED,
‫AND NARROWED IT DOWN TO THREE ‫VERY REAL POSSIBILITIES.
‫AND THEY'RE ALL ON FACEBOOK.
‫SO THE FIRST ONE ‫IS PROFESSOR DURAND.
‫Ph.D. AT OREGON.
‫SMART GENE POOL.
‫SECOND IS DANNY D. ‫FROM BAKERSFIELD,
‫ALTHOUGH I CAN'T REALLY ‫PICTURE YOUR FATHER
‫HAVING A UNIBROW.
‫AND THEN THERE'S THIS GUY.
‫HE OWNS A BEACH RENTALS PLACE
‫AND IS ALSO ‫A PADDLE BOARD INSTRUCTOR.
‫AND GET THIS, HIS PLACE ‫IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE BORDER.
‫IT'S, LIKE, AN HOUR ‫FROM ALLY'S BEACH HOUSE.
‫MAYBE YOU'RE MEANT ‫TO GO ON SPRING BREAK.
‫MAYBE IT'S DESTINY.
‫- I DID NOT ASK YOU TO DO THIS.
‫- I KNOW.
‫NOW THAT YOU HAVE ‫THE INFORMATION,
‫YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT ‫TO DO WITH IT WHEN YOU'RE READY.
‫WHAT'S THAT?
‫- IT'S YOUR MOTHER'S ‫PERSONAL STATEMENT
‫FOR HER COLLEGE APP.
‫- LET ME GUESS, HER DREAMS ‫OF FIXING THE WORLD?
‫- SORT OF.
‫- "SOME PEOPLE WANT ‫TO GO TO COLLEGE
‫"SO THEY CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.
‫"I JUST WANT TO CHANGE ME.
‫"THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS ‫I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY
‫"IN MY LIFE IF I HAD THE CHANCE.
‫"MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY ‫THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS A MISTAKE.
‫"NO ONE ACTUALLY INTENDS ‫TO GET PREGNANT AT 16.
‫"BUT THAT'S NOT ‫THE WAY I SEE IT.
‫"MY DAUGHTER DEFINITELY ALTERED ‫THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE.
‫"I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED IT.
‫"I CONSIDERED IT A PRIVILEGE ‫TO CARE FOR HER
‫"AND, YES, TO BE HONEST,
‫"TO OFTENTIMES GROW UP WITH HER.
‫"HELL, MAYBE SHE GREW UP ‫FASTER THAN I DID.
‫"SHE IS SO SMART ‫AND SO MATURE
‫"THAT SOMETIMES ‫SHE INTIMIDATES ME,
‫"BUT MORE OFTEN, ‫SHE INSPIRES ME.
‫"MAYBE THAT'S MY REAL GOAL
‫" WHEN IN TRYING TO GET ‫INTO COLLEGE,
‫"TO MAKE MY DAUGHTER ‫AS PROUD OF ME
‫"AS I AM OF HER,
‫TO LIVE UP TO BEING ‫JENNA HAMILTON'S MOTHER."
‫- DOES THAT MEAN ‫YOU'RE OKAY WITH COL--
‫- NO, BUT AT SOME POINT ‫I WILL BE.
‫- OKAY, GOT IT.
‫- AND I KNEW I WOULD.
‫I WAS SURPRISING MYSELF ‫WITH MY RESILIENCE...
‫AND MY OPTIMISM.
‫I EVEN HAD A FEELING THINGS ‫WERE GONNA WORK OUT WITH MATTY.
‫- HEY, I JUST WANTED ‫TO LET YOU KNOW
‫THAT I MADE CONTACT ‫WITH MY BIOLOGICAL DAD.
‫AND I THINK I'M GONNA ‫MEET HIM ON SPRING BREAK.
‫I'M SORRY IF I'VE BEEN ACTING ‫LIKE A REAL JERK.
‫THE TRUTH IS, I...
‫AM A LITTLE SCARED ‫TO MEET THIS GUY.
‫I'D REALLY LIKE ‫FOR YOU TO BE THERE WITH ME.
‫- NEXT, ON AWKWARD...
‫- WE'RE ON SPRING BREAK, PEOPLE!
‫- THIS IS OUR LAST SPRING BREAK ‫TOGETHER.
‫SO LET'S REALLY MAX IT OUT.
‫- WE BROUGHT THE BEST PARTY ‫FAVOR EVER.
‫both: WE'RE BIG IN JAPAN!
‫- OUR VIDEO HAS LIKE ‫12 MILLION HITS.
‫- GOODBYE, PALOS HILLS. ‫HELLO, NEW YORK CITY.
‫PRETTY SOON IT WILL ALL HAVE ‫BEEN JUST A BAD DREAM.
‫- I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, ‫ONCE AGAIN,
‫I WAS GOING TO BE LEFT OUT ‫IN THE COLD.